The 7 Roadblocks to Asking

Crystal says, “There is not one roadblock, but seven that people carry.”

Roadblocks to Asking
Roadblocks to Asking

What holds people back? There are a few key things to keep in mind that are applicable to everyone. These things hold us back when we want to ask for more. 

If we can overcome these roadblocks, we can prepare ourselves to ask for what we truly want.

They are:

Roadblock 1 - Unworthiness

A childhood conditioning that makes us feel like we don't deserve better, somehow. There's like this little subtle thing, I don't really deserve this. I'm really not good enough. And it just happens over a lifetime.

Roadblock 2 - Naivety

Sometimes we just don't know what's out there. When we're looking for something new or something, a new idea. Maybe it's something we weren't exposed to. 

Crystal tells the story of eating mango for the first time as an adult. “How did I miss the best tasting, juiciest fruit ever? But you know, it's such a lesson in life. We all do that.” 

Because we're naive. We're just naive, and we're not curious enough. When we're born, we want to know who, what, when, where, and why, and we want more and more and more. We just keep asking, right? And then that gets shut down by this unworthiness that we're talking about. 

So we're saying we need to rekindle that and take, you know, not be naive. What other people are we missing every day? We're passing them by, and we don't realize that could be the most amazing connection we've ever had. And I started questioning myself about that. What other opportunities am I missing because I'm naive? 

Roadblock 3 - Excuses

We make a lot of excuses. Because we're either, you know, those people that are just too stubborn to ask for help, or, you know, inquire about anything, No, I don't need help. I can figure this out. 

Well, that doesn't get you ahead. That leaves you exactly where you are. So some of those things we need to get over. 

Roadblock 4 - Doubt

That gray area that, “Meh, I don't think anything's that good is ever going to come out of this. So I'm not even going to try. I'm just gonna exist at this gray level of life. 

Roadblock 5 - Fear

I mean that the terror of rejection is so powerful with people. And I think it comes down to our need to be loved because, you know, you all human beings need to be loved. And we're so afraid of rejection because it feels like we're losing love or losing approval. 

Roadblock 6 - Pattern paralysis

It's just, you know, doing the same thing, week after week,

month after month, year after year, and it's not working, and it didn't work last month or the week before the year before, but we keep doing it, and why? Why aren't we stopping to question that?

Roadblock 7 - Disconnection

That is just being disconnected from your dreams. It's that state of apathy, where you kind of give up and you just, you kind of give up and lose hope, and that's really sad. For me, that's the saddest one of all because I don't want anyone to give up on their life. Your life is so important. Your life, you, are so valuable. And there's so much more for you if you just embrace this journey. 

All of these roadblocks are the same things that stop us from pretty much everything in life.

Check out Mark and Crystal’s book, “Ask! The Bridge From Your Dreams To Your Destiny.” Read through the stories. Crystal says, "Stories are metaphors for all of our lives. Metaphors are patterns. And patterns are how our brain learns. When we read someone else's story, they went through similar fears, similar unworthiness, and similar rejection. Yet, they push through it, and you read about how they pushed through it and what happened and how they triumphed through their tragedies, you realize very quickly that you can do the same."

It will be hard. Sometimes, we have to just step on our fear with courage. You might just find that amazing things are waiting for you.